Own your choices

photo from here

I got to talk to someone new today, which is always a thrill for me.

She asked, "so, do you get to stay home with Wilder?" I said, "yes, I am lucky enough to get to do so. As long as we have a busy calendar and I am doing things to make myself a more complete person, we're good to go."

I responded to her questions about my education and work history. Then I stated that staying home has been a blessing in more ways I could've dreamed. And it has been. Aside from raising the coolest little dude in the Midwest, I've gotten to meet and know fascinating, wonderful people. And I'll reiterate that I've also gotten to know parts of my heart that would've otherwise been overshadowed if I was still working. Perhaps those parts wouldn't have eased their way out because I was finding fulfillment in my job.

But then I had to find fulfillment in a new way, in a way that didn't involve my giving input at meetings or being sought out for help in processing something or about meeting a deadline. I had to figure out how to reconstruct my life so that I could be the best person, wife, and mother I could possibly be, all outside the workforce, since we felt that's what was best for our family. The two things that keep me motivated and purposeful in parenting (besides the Lord) are a) social interaction b) blogging/writing. The netting that holds those together is, as you may have guessed: introspection.

I recently attended a workshop whereby life coach Cindy Tannehill helped us determine our passions and abilities in order to eventually channel them into a form of ministry. It may be difficult to devote myself to a defined ministry until my children are older, but I hunger, crave, very much thirst to continue to evaluate the attitudes of my heart...it's never a waste.

I will continue on the course toward healing. I will move past the point of thinking I am not good/holy enough to help people.

I don't have to be assigned to a specific post in order to make a difference.

Prayer leads to precious relationship with God and others, and it's the best way to learn about yourself and your passions. If it's been awhile since you've looked introspectively or thought about how you can best love humanity (our kids/partner/jobs/families/friendships/community), then here are some questions, aside from those you can ask in prayer, to get you thinking:

What experiences energize you the most?
What difference would you like to make?
What subjects do you lean into during conversation?
What would you do if you could not fail?
What do you want to "say" with your life?

It's never too soon to learn how you can be used well today. Right where you are. May you soar high and fully over each crag and ravine of your heart.