Feb 4, 2009

I wanna feel...small

Small, you say? Why?

Have you ever gone somewhere, say, to the ocean, or way up high in an airplane, only to look around at the expanse of sky, water, earth and think, "woah, I am just a tiny little dot in all of this"? Not to say that we don't matter. Because, hallelujah, we do! There's this unmistakable surge of energy in feeling small yet having a greater sense of belonging--feeling woven into the fabric of humanity--feeling honored to be in God's plan. Feeling simultaneously so big and so small that you desperately want air to flood your lungs. You want to shout with your whole body to remind yourself that you're present.
You're making it.

In his sermon on the mount, Jesus states (Matt. 5:34-35) "But I say to you, do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King." If earth is God's footstool, then, "woah, baby!" he's big! Big enough to heal wounded hearts, restore health, repair brokenness. Big enough to wipe clean the charred parts of our hearts. Big enough to bless us with gifts--gifts like grace, family, sunsets, mercy...the cocoa bean.

You've probably guessed that I'm introspective. I tend to embrace my feelings. Figure out how the past has shaped who I am. Get a plan for living fully in my tomorrows. And sometimes feeling small helps me step into that. So I relish chances to feel diminutive, whether I'm up high in the pastel sky or gazing at endless rolling hills.

So my plan is to go to the Grand Canyon, because I want oh so badly to feel bitty. I figure what better way to do so? I'll confess I have a rather warped sensibility about that big hole in the earth; it's limited to the
Brady Bunch episode in which Cindy gets lost and the cute Indian boy comes to save her...

I'll let you know of any further developments. I'm thinking: road trip, camping at the bottom of the canyon, hikes, canoeing, greasy hair under a {pink} bandanna...
I plan to feel small. I plan to get down there,

and roar.

1 comment:

Chrissy said...

Hi Mindy,

Great post! I think a lot of people could really benefit from "feeling small" once in a while.