Mar 24, 2009

You want my two cents worth? No prob!

A friend asked for my opinion on the "when to have kiddos" topic. I was elated someone asked for my opinion--that's one part of my job that I miss; having all these ideas to hash out...

Anyway, I wanted to give careful thought to the question before I responded. Her specific inquiry was whether or not she & her husband should wait 5 years before growing their family, or begin sooner.

Here's my response. Bet your tickled pink to get to a front row seat in my email inbox!

I'm honored you've asked my opinion about the kiddos topic. Loving a child is one of life's grandest privileges. It is overwhelming in so many ways, primarily in that one's heart feels it might crack under the enormous love; it really is a lot.

It is new, old, wonderful, breathtaking, and scary. And it's a lot of work...sort of like running a marathon, with its exhilaration and an end goal, intermingled with diligence and some pain (by pain I really mean the pain you feel when your baby is hurting, or the "pain" of making a tough decision).
It is new because each day reveals an adventure. It is old because your child has always been a part of you.

Do I miss sleeping in on Saturdays? Yes, but I love opening all the windows in the house the morning, then cracking open Wilder's door to be immediately smitten by a huge smile. In the next moment I may have to change a stinky diaper, but it's no biggie. Do I miss romantic dates? Yes. We still go on them but not as often; just requires more planning.

Shawn and I waited 5 years, and I'm glad we did. Not because parenthood is "horrible" but because it is at times difficult and you want to have your partner 100% there with you. Sometimes you'll miss when it was just "you two" but then you look at your child and understand that he is the celebration of you and your partner's love. I've always said that Wilder is the culmination of all my right decisions in life. And he is.

I'm just so thrilled that you & "Fabio" may choose to have children. Your life will be richer. You will be tired, stressed and frazzled at times, but those sacrifices are worth it. It's an honor to be such an integral part of someone's life.

And you can say, "look what we made!"

What do you think of my response? To my mommy readers, how would you respond?

It's hard for me to articulate that parenthood should be approached thoughtfully, prayerfully, not because it is this awful thing, but because it is so wonderful. As much as I thought I was semi-prepared for mommy-hood, I wasn't. And that's ok. Approaching the unknown--that's what makes life FUN!

May you be blessed as you nurture your families, whether it's your hubby, Nemo the beta, or a brood of wee ones!

And if you happen to need a bottle of water or "atta-girl" as you're running the marathon course, I'm here for you, ever eager to put in my two cents.


Weza said...

You have summed up the way parenting is so well. I love how you have explained how it is not horrible but that at times it is difficult. And it is totally worth it!!! Those moments that just make your heart sing, and make your heart swell with pride really make the long haul worth it.
We are in the hard slog of sickness at the moment and your post has helped me to refocus and count my blessings.
Bless you.

TheHappyNeills said...

We as believers have to remember, ultimately, that it's not about our convenience, our comfort,'s about obedience to the Lord. He created marriage not for the sake of 2 people, but for the sake of family and the world.

We know we have to be wise and use logic and our best judgment along with lots of prayer. Too many Christians today, I think, follow the same criteria as the rest of the world...when will it be most convenient, when will we be done doing the things we wanted to do (i.e., trips and such), when will we be the most "ready", etc.

For us, we didn't feel like we had a "good enough" reason to postpone having kids, so we felt we should err on the side of obedience and start having children. :)

Anonymous said...

Mindy, What a beautiful thing to read on the eve of my due date!! I hope I will be as good a mom as you:)