Feb 1, 2010

Grace to help others and grace to receive the same

I've missed my computer time, but have had mommy tasks to tend to that include the health of Shawn and Wilder. My strength has been tested and stretched and I'm much weaker as a pregnant person...emotions are definitely topsey turvey.

Something that's come out of the woodwork, though, is that I'm becoming more comfortable asking for and receiving help. I wish I was born with a superhero cape, but, alas... I have my "help me!" moments. Do you?

Denying help can be graceful, occasionally warranted. But accepting it? That takes grace, too. For me, being on the "helpER" end of things, where I've gotten to vacuum, and fold laundry...well, that's just about equal to receiving a million bucks. So, in a sense, when I let someone else help me, it returns to them as a blessing. It's beautifully reciprocal.

From a young age I've wanted to fend for myself, not wanting to inconvenience anyone. Part of that, though, was wanting to come to a point where I could be confident supporting myself and living on my own if I had to. I had to prove that to myself. And I succeeded.

But now that I'm a mommy I have to think about Wilder's well-being, and if that means bringing in reinforcements (thanks, A & B!), I'll do it. If that means dragging him to a lunch date (thanks, E) so I can have some adult talk/cookie and feel important/human, then, I will.

Through recent challenges I've duly noted that although Wilder is keen on picking up my emotions, he's still young enough to not remember my moments of crying. If I lose my smile and steadiness for a little bit, he's going to be okay. He's still in this innocent place where he waves "hi" to the people on the TV, to the people at the store, to the people on the sidewalk, to the trucks on the road.

If only he'd get a wave back.

I understand how he feels. We have that same love for people.

On a lighter note, I want to challenge my creativity and take a "heart" picture every day of the first couple weeks in February, to celebrate Valentine's Day, and Shawn. Gag if ya want...it's your esophagus.

I love pink hearts.

They're just so...me.
Every beating, pleading, help-me, part.



jen christians said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jen christians said...

Try that again... I think that your adoring love for your husband is wonderful! You inspire me to be a better wife. I too am blessed with a wonderful man, I sometimes have trouble showing it after a long day. I love that picture, it does capture a lot.
I hope your boys are feeling better soon.

Weza said...

The whole accepting help thing can be tough, but you are right it fully blesses those who give it. When the girlies were young there was a lady in our church who dreamt about me crying one night. The next Sunday she spoke to me and insisted on coming over once a week to do house work. Boy did she bless me. I so needed her help. It was hard to accept but so very needed.
She was God in skin to me... doing as she was prompted. My accepting that help was accepting the gift of God.
Bless ya Mindy.
PS i answered your question in my comments.